Sunday, January 28, 2007
Heckler Spring Training: Part 1
What is baseball without heckling. I've heckled players at a game, othes have heckled players, and maybe you have heckled. Since spring training is getting close and the birth of the 2007 season, it's time we take a look back on trhe basics of heckling in this two-part series.
This week I present the 10 commandments of heckling, please keep in mind to obey these commandments, heckling is part of the game and shoud be fun. Umpires have been known to eject fans.
Commandment I - Thou shalt not use profanity
Remember this one thing, baseball is still a family sport. Fathers and sons, mom and dad, the whole family. Nobody wants to hear you spouting off a bunch of profanities.
Commandment II - Thou shalt not insult the mother
This should be obvious. What good would come from saying something about someone else's mother? Is that what we want? I don't think so. Leave mom out of it. We don't need any of this garbage at our games. We want people to appreciate what we do, not resent us for it.
Commandment III - Thou shalt be intelligent
Do I really need to explain this? Know what you are talking about. Remember, credibility lends respect to your task.
Commandment IV - Thou shalt love baseball
Is there any doubt about this? Who in this great country would disparage America's pasttime? If you don't love baseball, what are you doing here?
Commandment V - Thou shalt be aware of the people around you
This is a really touchy one. Even though some of the funniest stuff you may have may be about overweight guys or bald guys, the person next to you may not think it's terribly funny.
Commandment VI - Thou shalt be witty
Only one rule to remember here: if you are the only one laughing, it wasn't funny.
Commandment VII - Thou shalt not overkill 
Listen, if somebody does something funny in the first inning, you should not keep ragging on it in the fifth. The more you say something, the less effective it becomes. You must be aware that the same stuff gets really old after a couple of games - especially in a series against the same team. Unless something is really working on one or two guys, put it away for a couple or three games.
Commandment VIII - Thou shalt be friendly
The best way to make these guys listen to you and divert their attention from the task at hand is to be just as nice as you can be. When you look into the dugout, wave and say, "Hi guys!"
Commandment IX - Thou shalt not cross the line
That line is the line of brutality. Look, the players know that heckling is part of the game. Don't make it personal between you and the players. Remember, they have bats, you don't.
Commandment X - Thou shalt remember the childrenNo matter what you want to believe about role models, the children are watching and listening. They hear what you say and see what you do. Be aware of that when you sit in the stands. If you don't know whether you fit the bill, just ask yourself, would you want your best friend's kid sister or brother to sit next to you at the next ball game? Well, would you?
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Labels: baseball, heckle, spring training
Posted by Steve Kenul at 10:28 PM
posted at 11:19 PM
my brother and his friend were spit on by a player on a visiting team at a blue jays game, for heckling.
It was caught on the jumbo-tron and everyone saw it. there was a nice settlement and public apology made.
the settlement went to my brother's friend and my brother the idiot didnt pursue it properly and received the public apology, an autographed baseball bat and free tickets lol
Steve Kenul posted at 11:31 PM
I've heard of players retaliating on fans before. Maybe I should do some research and turn this into a three-part series.
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posted at 11:19 PM
Steve Kenul posted at 11:31 PM
Kokoyaku
