Monday, December 04, 2006
Yankees Christmas List
We are the New York Yankees and we have been a good team this year. We have had our bad times like when we all made fun of Alex Rodriguez and Joe Torre's job was at stake, but other than that, we have been good this year.
For Christmas, I would like the following:
One (1) first baseman. He must be agile and be able to catch a ball that will short hop or fly over his head.
Four (4) more outfielders to confuse fans and make a mess out of the scorecard.
Two (2) former managers to disgrace as base coaches.
One (1) extra Carl Pavano, because we all know he will be injured again, so a spare one will be of use.
One (1) back for Randy Johnson. I don't know how much good it'll be for him, but it's the holiday for giving.
Three (3) set up relievers, the ones we have don't work as well.
Zero (0) sophomore jinxes for our rookies, we need them because Mr. Steinbrenner has a bad habit of signing old players.
Five (5) starting pitchers. Scott Proctor should not be one of them.
One (1) cool nickname for one of our players. A-Fraud was good, but it got old.
One (1) new announcer. Even Yankees fans hate John Sterling's "Yankees win, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees win!" call.
More real fans, it pains me to know that people like us because we either are winners, or they think Derek Jeter is "hawt".
More money, who knows how much Steinbrenner will spend this year.
Less people whining that we "buy" our championships. I haven't seen a receipt lately.
Less Yankees publications, it'll make my weekly trip to the bookstore a lot faster.
Real champagne in the locker room for winning something, sparkling cider is very sticky.
A tenth (10th) division title, I know it's much, but the upgrads are worth it.
A 27th World Series title, we haven't won once since the millenium started.
Posted by Steve Kenul at 6:35 PM
J. Mark English posted at 12:25 PM
This is a great blog. I'm going to be sure to link yours to mine. Would you mind doing the same for me?
Thank you very much.
Sodapop posted at 7:07 PM
That is a WONDERFUL wish list!!!
Jess posted at 7:40 PM
I see lots of coal in your future!
posted at 10:25 PM
1 MVP title for Derek Jeter.
1 scorching season for Johnny Damon.
1 more Boston Massacre. Perhaps 6 games this time. :)
NO MORE RAINOUTS (esp Old Timers Day!)